The Blessings of the Atonement

Seeing as Easter is just around the corner we wanted to focus this post on the loving sacrifice of the Atonement. The Atonement is our Heavenly Father's supreme expression of love for us. He was willing to let his only Begotten Son come to earth, suffer the pain and penalty for all our sins, die on the cross, and be resurrected. I believe it was just as much of a sacrifice on Heavenly Father's part as it was from Jesus. Christ expressed his infinite love for both the Father and for each of us. He was able to overcome both spiritual and physical death, making it possible for each of us to return to live with our Heavenly Father.
I am so grateful for that sacrifice. I think of all the mistakes I have made in my life, and because of the gifts of repentance and forgiveness, which come through the atonement, I am able to start over every time and try to reach my full potential. I will admit though, that this isn't where I have felt the overwhelming power of the Atonement. I have felt its power more when I was alone, or hurt. This beautiful blessing doesn't only cover mortal sin, but also helps heal us. When Christ suffered he felt every pain, cried every tear, suffered from every sickness, felt every moment of despair for every single person who has ever lived on this earth. This is how he is able to take care of each of us.

I want to share with you an experience when I felt the power of the Atonement the strongest. I had just come back from my mission, I was living with wonderful roommates, I was back in my jazz choir, I enjoyed the built-in social life at BYU-Idaho...I had everything anyone ever needed. But among all these people and all these things, I felt alone.
When I was on my mission I had my life all figured out. I would come home, get married, finish my education, have kids, own a diner, and grow old with the man of my dreams. I didn't know that God had a different order in mind. As soon as I got home things began to fall apart. Boys were jerks, school was harder than I remembered, I got kicked out of my voice lessons for not being up to par, most of my friends had gotten married or graduated, which left me as a third (5th, 7th, 9th...you pick) wheel in every activity, and I had lost that spiritual drive I had on my mission. Coming down from that spiritual high is hard on anyone. I tried to act happy and play my part, but it eventually got to be too much to bear. My choir had just come to Utah for a performance. We were singing for the President's Club at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. President Clarke (president of BYU-I) was speaking to the guests, and we were permitted to sit in and listen. He talked about the purpose of BYU-I and how it was there to help every student feel the power of the Atonement as they grew to find themselves spiritually. His goal at the school was to have every student graduate with a firm testimony in the gospel and to know the divine potential they had. That was it! I felt more alone than ever! I didn't know the answer to any of these things. I didn't know who I was, I felt like my testimony was dwindling, and I felt like my whole life plan was ruined. I sat in tears as he continued to speak. As soon as he was done everyone went out to dinner. I knew Dad was close by so I called him and he came to take me back to the hotel. He held me close and prayed with me. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to know what to do. I didn't want to be at school anymore, I felt like I would never get married, I felt like I had lost all my talent, and I didn't know what to do with my life. As I prayed I felt an overwhelming peace come to my mind. I was reminded of all the times I taught people on my mission and bore my testimony of the healing power of the Atonement. I needed that healing power now. It was my time to use it.
I asked my dad for a priesthood blessing. He assured me that the Savior had felt every ounce of pain I was feeling, and every moment of loneliness. I needed some time to myself, so after the blessing I gave my dad a big hug for coming to my rescue and then sat alone in the hotel room. I stayed in the room for hours. Oddly enough I was alone, but I did not feel alone. I had just come from the lowest point in my life (I know, not so low as others, but for me it was rock bottom). I just wanted to dump all my accomplishments out the window and give up. I felt that I needed to rethink my life plan and just be me. I had become who Heavenly Father wanted me to be, and I needed to be strong and show that to everyone around me. I got up, walked down the hall and enjoyed the rest of the evening with my friends.
As hard as it was I am so glad that things went according to God's plan and not mine. I would have never had this experience, never graduated college unmarried, never lived at home, never worked at Kindercare, never met Joe, and never would have had my sweet baby boy. This was all a stepping stone to better things. I know that the healing power of the Atonement is real and that it is meant to be used by each of us. If you have done something wrong in your life, use it. If you are feeling alone, use it. If you are feeling under the weather, use it. If you are feeling confused, use it! Christ didn't suffer for nothing. It is a beautiful blessing, and I am so grateful to know that I have a Heaven;y Father and Savior who love me enough to allow me to feel their healing power.

(This is Joe now) I can't add a lot to Emily's testimony...it's funny, we Mormons throw the word "testimony" around a lot, but here in law school testimony is all about trials and evidence. But then, despite the different contexts and surface meaning, the two "testimonies" are the same. In a trial, those who give testimony are either witnesses or experts on a subject, whose perspective and experience shed light on the facts or interpret circumstances for the benefit of judge and jury. I think Emily just acted as witness and expert. She's a witness because she's experienced the power of the Christ's atoning sacrifice both as a way to find forgiveness for her sins and as a source of healing and empowerment. And she's an expert because she's been an official minister of Jesus Christ, who helped others find the forgiveness, power, and healing of the Atonement. Emily's testimony has helped me to understand the Atonement better and helped me to recognize times when I've felt its power. I hope it helped you, too.
I'll add my testimony to Emily's. The Savior's sacrifice was infinite---it has the power to undo every sin we commit, as long as we follow Him. It's not a free ticket to paradise, but it is a ticket to paradise, if we're willing to pay for it by following His gospel, His commandments. Sometimes we get so caught up in awe over the spiritual salvation the Atonement provides, we forget for a moment about the miracle of the Resurrection. That's Easter! Christ died for us, yes, but more importantly, that means (1) we can live with God in His kingdom, and (2) we, too, will be resurrected! That is especially meaningful to me because of my hearing impairment. When we are resurrected, all our physical deformities and infirmities will be gone, our bodies perfected. I will hear! Christ's glorious resurrection means both physical and spiritual hope for all of us. I believe that Jesus really did rise from the tomb, and that His sacrifice and resurrection open the door for all of us as well.
Happy Easter.