The Dread Hurricane

Okay, let me start by saying that this was a serious hurricane in some parts of the world, and what I say in here isn't meant to make light of anyone's genuine suffering.
Second, this is Joe. In case anyone was confused.

So Hurricane Sandy struck Virginia at the end of October. The news coverage of the looming storm was terrifying. Weather advisories and emergency measures were broadcast with building frequency as it moved closer. Our church leaders coordinated with members to ensure that everyone was prepared for the worst. The night before Sandy was set to strike Charlottesville, we battened down our hatches, but we didn't have all the survival materials we needed (it's one thing to be prepared for a zombie apocalypse, but a shotgun doesn't do much to deter a hurricane). So we went out to grab a couple of things from Walmart. We thought we might pick up some bottled water, or batteries for our flashlights.

This is what was left of the water supplies...

...and the flashlights. And "D" batteries.

I guess it pays to be prepared before the eve of impending disaster. To cover our bases as far as drinkable water goes, we filled a water cooler (the kind the football team dumps on Coach) with water from the tub. Not too tasty, but would work in a pinch.

Law school was cancelled for two days while the hurricane raged over Virginia. The weathermen swore it would get worse...it did, of course. I had to scrunch in make-up classes for everything I missed those two days.

In the midst of the storm, Emily had a craving. Now, the rule in our house is that Emily is allowed to want things all the time. If it's convenient, or if I feel like farming reputation with the wife faction, I'll get what she wants. But she has a limited number of craving cards to play every pregnancy. She played one. During the hurricane. So now I have permission, nay, the holy right to tell this story to my child after he or she is born.

"In the most devastating storm of the century, Charlottesville, Virginia bore the brunt of Nature's wrath. The wind howled through the streets, tossing cars like confetti. The people huddled vainly in their cellars, but the storm searched them out, tearing the roofs from their houses and plucking them from their hiding places. Sandy had an insatiable appetite for destruction, and her eye fell on unsuspecting Charlottesville.

"And in the middle of that, your mother had a craving for Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles Potato Chips.

"I tried to reason with her. I pointed at the carnage in the streets. I showed her the order from the President to stay indoors. I showed her the Hummer spinning around in the wind. But there's no reasoning with a pregnant woman's cravings. I would have to find her those chips.

"So I put on my jacket and leaped astride my motorcycle, which was chained to the mighty oak in our front yard. Unlatching the chains, I sped down the rubble-strewn street, dodging falling trees and flying cars, narrowly missing an open chasm in the intersection. I was airborne for seconds at a time as the wind swelled, but managed to stay on course to the grocery store.

"Coming down the final hill to the store, the top half of a neighbor's house crashed into the street right ahead of me. I didn't have time to swerve. I shifted down and gunned the engine, popping the front tire off the asphalt just in time to clear the front edge of the roof. With a lurch, I was on the roof, speeding to the peak. I launched from the roof across the parking lot to the barricaded sliding doors of the Kroger. I landed rubber-side down and skidded through the doors in a shower of glass.

"A handful of employees and two customers were trapped inside. They were going to starve to death because the credit card machines were cut off from the banks. Luckily for them, I had cash. I bought five loaves of bread, two buckets of goldfish, and a rotisserie chicken for them when I grabbed the bag of Cheddar Sour Cream Ruffles Potato Chips. One of those customers I saved went on to become a life-saving surgeon. One of the others won the Nobel Prize.

"In another harrowing ride through the storm, I arrived back home. I lost the motorcycle. And my hearing. But I saved the chips."

In reality, the storm was really disappointing here. Hardly more than a stiff wind. The school administration felt a little silly after cancelling school for the first time in a long time, all for something that turned out to be so minor for us. But AJ and I took the time off to build a storm fort!

AJ kept his supplies stashed safely in the fort.